Razak

Razak was born between the union of Abbott, the god of contrition and of Silvius, the god of Guidance. On the day that he was born, he got a special visitor from Ahil, the god of prophecy. An infusion, a new—and continual—creation from above, forever reborn. To be the assurance of things hoped for, and evidence of things not seen. Until the day comes that the sun doesn't rise, two friends turned lovers shall bring forth an age of death and a rise of faith. From the moment Razak took his first breath he was cursed. Cursed to die over and over again for the atonements of humanity's sins until the day when his lover would bring about his final death, throwing the world into chaos, forcing humanity to take a leap in faith themselves. Fearing the prophecy, Silvius made it his life's mission to ensure that Razak would never face the possibility of a permanent death, keeping the boy isolated from the rest of their kind. Despite this separation, it did nothing to prevent Razak from dying over and over again. The first time he died, Razak was still a toddler, giving his parents heart attacks. He had been found drowned in a small stream. Each death is determinant on how long it takes for his body to recover and how long it takes for his spirit to find his body. Each prior death leaves a birthmark upon the boy.

His fathers' desperately tried on teaching their son that setting boundaries isn’t building walls to keep others out. It’s a way of safeguarding his wellbeing. At an early age, he practiced saying the word "No." But no matter how hard he tried, Razak could’t say no. Much to his parents' dismay, it is physically impossible for Zak to say that one little word, as it makes him violently sick. For Raz saying no seems like it will shatter and end his life, feeling as it his body is treating itself apart. Therefore, he takes the easy way out and sacrifices himself without complaint.

On the surface, sacrifice doesn't seem like a bad thing for Razak to hold power over because when he sacrifices himself he gets the chance help others. In addition to this, he considered kind, generous, and selfless, which wasn't far off the mark in regards to his personality. There’s nothing wrong with being generous and coming to the aid of those you love, there’s a limit. These we're the wise words spoken by his father, as Silvius tried to desperately point out how dangerous it was. It mattered not however as Razak grew to love everything and everyone!

Perhaps it was due to his very nature, but Razak quickly abandoned his personal interests and renounced the important aspects of his identity at a young age. In a nutshell, he placed value in others more than himself. This was inevitably however, due to his gifts and curse. Being the god of sacrifice has led Razak to believe he must always take care of others because they are more important. It is feared that the young man loses a bit more of his own identity each time he dies as the more conditions like these death's he is exposed to, the more he stops prioritizing his own needs.

Helping others even when he's sacrificing himself makes Zak feel good! It's the only firm of ecstasy he knows. It doesn't matter how painful the death might be, Raz feels like he's fulfilled or added to their lives. Most importantly, it makes him feel like a “good person.” He doesn’t need a reason to sacrifice his life or needs to prioritize others’ needs. He's all too to jump in front of a bullet for someone, hell anyone. There is a serious devaluation of Raz's ego, not that he ever was born with it. Therefore, as time has passed, he strongly believes that he is not worthy to be a priority and will graciously allow others to walk all over him and use him without any form of repercussions.

Generosity seems to be a cup that never empties for Razak. He will gladly give you the shirts off his back if you need him to. Zak doesn't even wait to be asked. He is always considerate in his rare dealings with others. Being known as ethical, honest, and trustworthy. If the man feels like he has offended another in some way, Zak will apologize consistently until he is back in their good graces. Like his father, Silvius, Razak is nonjudgmental, tolerant of others' foibles, and is never harshly reproving. This God will stick with you through thick and thin, even if you treat him like shit. His one and only "prime directive" is to be helpful to others. Out of deference to others, Razak is noncompetitive and unambitious, comfortable coming second, even last, though prefers coming in last to that everyone else feels good for not coming in last.

The boy shows great self-restraint, denying himself of all forms of pleasure, including sex, masturbation, etc. as Razak firmly believes that restraint is necessary for the achievement of a more significant desire or end for the sake of a person. This has made Zak a blushing virgin. It doesn't help that his sheltered life has made him incredibly awkward in any and all social interactions that does not involve sacrificing himself. This however, he sees as a positive, proudly calling himself a 'Celibate Hero'. Razak forbears, through motives of prudence, kindness, or charity. The three virtues that he strives to uphold at all costs.

Razak is ready and willing to put himself in harm’s way for others. If he cares deeply for someone, the young deity will go above and beyond to make them happy. He dislikes being a burden, and rarely puts himself above the people he cares for. But there lies the problem, Raz cares for everyone and everything in existence. Living in the ivory tower that he has been subjected to his entire life has made him incredibly naive about the difference between different kinds of love. He is caring and giving, who simply wants to do what he can to make a difference for others.

There is however a deeply disturbed man beneath the pretty cover of love and light that Razak seems to always gleam with. He's spent hours trying to find a solution to no avail and often feels too exhausted to go on. Giving in seems to be the only way to cut his losses. As someone who always gives in, Razak might seem ‘fine’ about it, but over time this kind of self-negation has eaten away at the young god. While Raz claims to be happy to go along with anything, he unknowingly often put others in the position of having to guess at his needs rather than being open and honest about them. Fear is paralyzing. Razak lives out of fear, keeping him living a small and timid life that is so much less than his potential. He is a people-pleaser who lives in terror that not doing what someone else wants will result in the other person not liking him or getting angry. This isn't necessary his fault, but a result due to his fathers' overprotective determination of keeping him safe. His life is completely devoid of conflict, which has made it so that his issues are being repressed. Razak keeps things bottled up, that way all kinds of suffering lies he lives. Living the life of being the sacrifices lamb, Raz is forced into giving so much of himself which makes it impossible for others to give in return. As a result, he doesn't have many friends as almost everyone feels less comfortable around him.